Thank you to all the ICLW who came and showed support last month. I truly thought I was ready to interact, to write and share, but once it was up I just couldn't come back. I couldn't even read the comments until today. The whole situation has just become more real and more painful. I shuffle back and forth between trusting in God and aching with such sadness that I can barely breathe. I have faith, strong faith, but I'm also human which means that I am fallible and I falter.

I've been very open with everyone around me regarding what's going on. My co-workers, family members, and friends. I have a strong circle of individuals praying for me, praying for healing, praying for the will of God to be done. When I sit and share with others I am not moved by the deep emotion behind my words. They come out like matter of fact statements that sound like mere updates. I really am learning a hard lesson in trust.

Today is cd13 with no changes through this "one more time" cycle of meds. Once this one ends (and I know it will) i'll have my HSG and hubby will have his SA. From there we meet with my OB who does basic infertility to find out our next step. I'm thinking injectables and IUI probably. We'll see.